Wow, what a day. First day in the school system, I have come full circle! The school environment still smells the same - lots of familiar sights, sense and sounds. Its crazy how every person listens to the bell! During one of my behavioural lectures, my prof said that outside of prison, school is the most regulated environment. It really is! There is a bell for everything.
I came in to today with lots of confidence! I thought it would be like starting a new job - you know that terrible first week when you don't know anyone and have no idea where anything is --- I found myself getting lost and in the wrong place a few times. Oops! This teaching thing is actually a waaaay bigger deal. Today I had this overwhelming sense of panic - I saw the teachers in action, so calm, collected and in control. I have no idea if I can be like that! I realised I am super rusty with content, I mean, I was learning things in the classroom. How the heck am I meant to teach if I have no idea of the content. We are working with peoples futures here, which is a huge huge deal.
One lesson at a time, one day at a time... I just have to remember that this is going to be a process, and I need to be teachable and not take things personally when I 'fail'. It is in my nature to want to be great first time. I dont like to do things if I am not great at it! Looks like that is going to change! I foresee a massive personality overhaul coming my way!
It was a good first day. I obviously feel nervous about if I am going to make it in this role and if I am suited to it. But I have a sense of peace about it, like I know I will get there. And this is so where I want to me. Finally! After 26 years, I sort of feel I am doing something that I am passionate about.
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